T and I have started researching the costs of visas to the countries we’re going to visit. In doing this research, I have noticed that Aussies pay approximately 37¢ for a visa to go anywhere. Why is this? Has John Howard made some secret deal with the devil, wherein he promised to obey George Bush’s every command in exchange for visas so his people can escape his rule? Run, Aussies, run!

On the other hand, Americans pay about 57 times more than anyone else for a visa to go anywhere. Despite the fact that the British conquered and tyrannized most of the world for centuries, even they get cheaper visas than Americans! Has no one seen ‘Braveheart’ or ‘Gandhi’?!

This is what I’ve found today:

Chinese visa for me: $127AUD. For T: $50.

Ethiopian visa for me: $70US. For T: £12.

Indian visa for me: $115AUD. For T: $75.

Ugandan visa for me: $50US. For T: $30.

Thankfully, SE Asia does not discriminate against me, a poor, defenseless American; Indonesia, Cambodia and Laos all charge us both the same–only 75 times more than Aussies pay.

I’m starting to understand why there are only 14 Americans who even bother to leave the country.